Classroom: Relationships ONE 04-03-07

04-03-07 – David Painting, from England
Relationships 1

Characteristics are the things we choose, the things that have to do with our character.
Attributes are things that we just are – we had no choice.

The problem is that we confuse these two areas. Let’s talk about God in these terms. What are some things that God just is? Love, all-powerful, good, all knowing, all present,

What are some things that God chooses to be? Forgiving, a Friend, merciful, patient, Redeemer,

When God created us, why did He create us? To do good, to have a relationship.

If God is love, you have to have something to love. He is able to do this because He has three aspects – the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

When God created us in His image, was it in terms of His attributes? Or in terms of His characteristics? We’re not all powerful and we were never meant to be. We were never meant to be in all places at one time. He didn’t create us in the image of His attributes – but in the image of His characteristics.

When Satan comes, what does he say to Eve? He says, “if you eat of this fruit, you’re going to be like God.” But they were already like God in every way that God intended. So what was Satan tempting them to do? He tempted them to be like God in terms of attributes; because he said, “if you eat of that fruit you will be like God and you will know things.” We’re meant to be like God in characteristics, we’re not meant to be like God in attributes. This is kind of a foundation for what I will be talking about later.

So we were created for relationship because God is a God of love. There’s one more difficult bit to explain, and then it’s easier for the rest of the week.

If God is love, we need to have relationship. You can’t have love without relationship. If you’re going to have relationship, I think you have to have choice.

My daughter has a cat. I like cats. I like cats because you can’t train them. They either choose to like you or they choose not to like you. And I don’t really like dogs. How many of you like dogs? Oh, I’m out numbered; well… some dogs are okay. I’m sure the dogs that you like are great. The dogs that I don’t like, are the silly dogs that are just insane. They just run around barking at everything, frantically. Here’s my problem. If your dog does something good, what do you do? You pet it, give it a treat. If it does something bad, what do you do? You punish it. So you train the dog. In the future, you never know if it’s responding out of love, or just because you trained it. So here’s my point whether you like cats or dogs. If you really want love, you have to allow real choice. You cannot train choice.

Last night I came from Larnaca. One of them knew the way back; one of them thought they knew the way back. One of them said, “I know a shortcut.” The other one said, “please don’t take the shortcut.” We have choices to make, and some of those choices have a real result. And I want to suggest to you that if you have real choice, those choices have to have different outcomes – otherwise it’s not really a choice. Relationship must allow choice.

Where in the Bible do we read about choice? 1 Corinthians 13 – it starts with “love is”

1 John says “God is love”
1 Corinthians 13 says “love is”

So by looking at these two passages, we can see what God is, can’t we? So before we take a short break, we’re going to take a look at 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Are there things that are happening that are not in God’s will? This is important, because this will affect how you see things in a very big way.

If love does not insist on its own way, I think that means that God takes the risk that at times, God’s will won’t get done. Who is ruling this earth right now? Satan. He is the prince, or “god” of this world. We’re going to keep coming back to this because it’s very important. It’s important to know how these things work, or we’ll get very confused. We’ll think some things are God’s will when they are not God’s will. We’ll assume that God is in control and that He’s doing terrible things.

In the Lord’s prayer, we pray, “let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
There’s no point in praying, “let you will be done on earth as it is in heaven” if His will is already done on earth.

In a world where God is love, there has to be relationship and there has to be choice.

It’s a real choice, but it’s not a free choice – there are lots of little influences that would help you decide to go either way. It’s the same for you. You have lots of choices, but they’re not free choices. You have influences. God does not control you. I hear some people say sometimes, “God, come and control me in this.” And I would like to suggest to you that God will never answer that prayer. He is not about control, the enemy is about control. God is love, He wants a relationship, and a relationship needs choice.

God says, “I no longer call you servants or slaves, but I call you friends.” You see a slave has no choice. A slave has to do what the master says. And Jesus says, “my relationship to you is not going to be like that. My relationship to you is going to be based on friendship. And Jesus goes on to explain what friendship means. He says a friend tells you what his plans are. He wants you to be involved. A master simply tells you what he wants you to do. Do you remember the story of the prodigal son?

Luke 15:3 – and on. The lost sheep and lost coin.

100 sheep, 1% lost, goes off searching, finds it, party!
10 coins, 10% lost, goes off searching, finds it, party!

We see what Jesus is doing. Same story. The second time, the loss is more.

[David calls these things “risky searches.” Are these searches risky for God? Can he lose sheep? No.]

Then we get to the story of the prodigal son. Having heard the first two stories… what would you guess to happen if you didn’t already know the story?

2 sons, 50% lost, goes off searching, finds, party!

Would you go ask your father for the inheritance if you didn’t think he was good or if you didn’t think he would give it to you? No. So we can think that it’s okay to assume the son knew the father was good. Did the father give the young son his inheritance? Did the son have a real choice to spend it? Yes, because the father loved him.

Love allows the choice to make mistakes, and grace gives time to choose what is right.

Eventually the son comes back. It says he came to his senses. He prepares a speech. “I’ll go back home and say to my father, “father, I’ve sinned against heaven and against you – I am no longer worthy to be called your son. I’ll come back as a slave.” And as he’s still a long way away – His father sees him, runs to him, embraces him, and the son starts to do his speech. The father does not listen to him. He restores him as a son, embraces him, gives him a cloak and shoes.

If the father has divided all he has, the inheritance, between the younger son and the older son – and the younger son takes his and loses it all, and comes back to his father… when the father gives him a cloak and kills a calf – whose are those things? They belong to the firstborn.

Who pays the price for our restoration? Jesus. Jesus is the firstborn. The firstborn pays the price for our redemption. So the point of this parable is about love and choice and redemption.

The man went searching for the sheep, the woman went searching for the coin – but in this last story, when the most valuable thing has been lost, Jesus deliberately leaves out the searching.

Jesus would say, “I have come to seek and save that which is lost.” The firstborn son would leave heaven and come to earth – would seek and find, and would pay the price for our redemption.

It’s about love. It’s about choice. It’s about grace.

A choice leads to two different places. There must be the possibility of two different outcomes for the choice to be real.

If every time Rob had a bad thought God hit him on the head, Rob wouldn’t have bad thoughts very often anymore, right? But not because he chose a loving relationship – it’s because he didn’t like being hit. Does that make sense? So in order for God to act Justly, the Justice must be delayed some of the time. There has to be a distance between the action and the Just result.

So immediately you say that you have a God of love, a God of relationship, a God who gives choice, a God who is Just, but also a God who exercises grace.

God has promised us a seed for the harvest. He has promised us enough food for everyone on this earth. He has promised to provide for all people on this earth – but not all people experience this. Does this make God a liar? Has He not lived up to His promise? Of course He has – but we do not use what He has given us in the right way. We abuse it. Our sin hides God’s goodness, because God’s will is not yet fully done.

So if we are in this period of grace (under grace), but the evidence of our eyes and ears, and of our way of thinking is that He doesn’t care or is incapable, we will need to exercise something called Faith. We will only see the true nature of God through the eyes of faith. If we simply rely on the things we see with our senses, we will conclude that God is not love, or that God is not all powerful, or that God is not good.

In a world of pain – a world ruled by Satan, to believe that God is love and all powerful requires us to live by faith. So if we start with a God of love, we live in a world which is based on relationship. If we have relationship, we’re going to have choice. If we have choice, there must be justice. But justice in a world of relationship requires there to be a period of grace, and in a world of grace we can only live by faith.

So you start with love and you end up with all these things. The question for us is, how are we living our lives? Because the world lives by sight. But the world believes that’s all that there is. We believe that, actually, if we are to make Godly choices, we will have to exercise faith. Often, our decisions will be contrary to what we see and hear.

We live by faith. At some point, you have to trust.

Let me ask you something – if you step out in faith, and you are completely wrong, do you not think that God is big enough to step out and restore you? Actually, stepping out in faith is the safest thing I could do! If I try to do things my way, everything could end up in disaster! But if I step out in faith, yeah we might die – this is a physical possibility, but that’s much safer than living in a world ruled by Satan. We have to live by faith.

Without faith, it is impossible to please God.

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Let’s look at the story of Joseph in the Old Testament. When he had the dream, he had a choice. He could have said, “I’m going to take faithful steps towards fulfilling that dream.” Or he could go to his brothers and say, “I’m better than you.” He could boast. Which of those two choices would have been the Godly choice? The first one! I’m going to call that, “to ponder.” Now if that is the Godly choice, which choice did God want him to take? That one.

But, Joseph chooses to boast, which is not God’s will. Is God’s plan for Joseph threatened yet? No, not yet. Now, Joseph’s brothers now have a choice to make. They could choose to say, “calm down. We’re thrilled that God has big and good plans for you. We’re going to support you and pray for you to see that these things are accomplished.” Only they don’t, they say, “let’s kill him.” Which is the Godly choice? The Godly choice is to support him. So which is God’s will? To support. But what do they choose? To kill him. Okay but one of the brothers convinces everyone not to kill him but to sell him into slavery.

And they go back to Jacob, “your son is dead.” And from this point forward, Joseph’s brothers will live with guilt and Jacob will live with grief.

Now Joseph is into slavery. He has a choice to make. He could say, “so much for your dreams, God. I was going to become great, huh?” He could live by the evidence of his eyes, or he could live by faith in what God is saying. Which is the Godly way? To live by faith. And if he lives by faith, He will serve his Master. Now, he can either serve gladly, or he can become bitter. And which does he choose? This is the first time we see some faith.

Let me tell you this, when we choose against God, God does everything He can to mitigate the impact of our wrong. And when we display the smallest amount of faith, He comes in with overwhelming support. He is not fair, He is Just. So Joseph serves and Potiphar likes him. Unfortunately, so does his wife. So, Potiphar wife tries to seduce him. Joseph has a choice here. He could say, “what can I do? This is the boss’s wife.” But what is the Godly choice? To refuse. And Joseph runs. He gets caught. Now Potiphar has a choice. He can choose to believe his wife’s lies. If we believes his wife’s lies, he would kill Joseph. Or if he doesn’t really believe his wife, he would not. What he does choose to do is put Joseph somewhere safe. What was Potiphar’s job? He’s captain of the prison guard. So what he does is he puts Joseph in charge but makes him manager of the jail. He puts Joseph somewhere safe. Is Potiphar acting by sight, or by faith? By faith. (Rob says, “But maybe due to past experiences he doesn’t trust his wife). Yes, this may be true.

So what do we have so far? Wouldn’t it be easy to give up on God?

So in the jail, this baker and this servant have dreams. They hear Joseph can interpret dreams, so they ask him. Joseph could have said, “don’t talk to me about dreams. They’ve given me a lot of trouble.” He chooses to hold onto his dream. There’s bad news for the baker, “tomorrow you’re dead.”

What faith Joseph exercises! Joseph is further away from his dreams than he’s ever been, in his own mind, but he’s still willing to work with other people’s dreams.

If you want to see the dreams God has given you fulfilled – if you want to see them fulfilled in your life, humble yourself, and serve somebody else’s dreams. Because if you can’t learn to serve somebody else’s dreams, God will not be serving you in your dreams. Everyone else in the Bible served somebody else’s dream for a season. Moses was a shepherd. Joshua was a worship leader to Moses. The butler gets freed, and Joseph says to him, “when you get out, remember me.” Well, the butler gets out, and the first thing he does is to forget Joseph. The butler gets out, and Joseph must’ve thought, “maybe there’s a chance for me now.” But for two years, two years, there’s nothing. For two whole years in jail! Joseph could easily have become bitter at that point, couldn’t he? “Not only are my dreams not being fulfilled – but even helping others with theirs doesn’t work!” But he doesn’t say this, does he? He keeps serving faithfully. Finally, the Pharaoh has dreams, and none of his wise men can help him. Suddenly the butler remembers. I love what he says, “I am reminded of my shortcomings (of my sin). Two years ago I was supposed to tell you this. I know somebody who can interpret dreams. And Joseph is brought out of jail, and Pharaoh says to him, “I hear that you’re a man who knows about dreams.” One more time, Joseph faces the test. He can do what he did the first time – he could boast. He could fail to be Godly one more time. But instead he says this, “you’ve got the wrong man. I can’t interpret dreams. Only God can interpret dreams. And I will pray to Him on your behalf, and see if He will give me the interpretation.” And he chooses to be Godly and He interprets the dream; and the Pharaoh promotes him to be second in the whole nation, below himself.

Was this the route that God intended Joseph to take? Of course not. Because a lot of the journey was determined by ungodly choices. Was God able to fulfill His plans, in any case? Yes. Was there a way that was less painful for Joseph? Was there a way that was perhaps shorter? God is not threatened by our choices because He’s King of kings and Lord of lords. But He exercises His power through our choices.

When the children of Israel came from Egypt… how many of days does it take to walk from Egypt to the river Jordan? The Bible tells us in Deuteronomy chapter 1, that it will take 11 days. How long did it take? 40 years. Was that God’s intention, that it take 40 years? No!

[Because of bad choices, sometimes it takes longer for God’s will to be accomplished.]

What did the Israelites do when they go to the river Jordan? They looked at the land, and they saw their eyes. They said, “yes, it is as God has said!” But they also saw things that God did not mention. “But, there are giants there.” Two of them said, “never mind the giants! God has promised it!” But the ten said, “we are like grasshoppers compared to these giants. We can’t do it.” And of course that is true. We cannot accomplish God’s plan for us. But God can. Sad.

Interesting, 40 years later when everyone had died except those two spies that God promised would enter the land, they begin to enter the land. They send two spies to come to the land. Now these spies are not very good, and they get stuck in a house. This woman says, “I know that the Lord has given this land into your hands, and that the fear of the Lord has fallen upon these people. For we heard how God killed the Egyptians when you crossed the Red Sea.”

In other words, 40 years ago we were terrified of you because of what God had done. If Israel had had the courage and lived by faith, they could’ve gone into the land and they could have taken it without a battle. The woman says the people would have melted away. But because of the Israelite’s fear, they had 40 years to regain confidence and build fortresses. Now the land will be taken inch by inch and battle by battle. Would God’s plan for His people still be fulfilled? Yes it would. Because He’s King of kings and Lord of lords. Would it be more painful? Would it take longer? Would a whole generation die without seeing it? Would it cause countless harm to both Israelites and the people of the land? Sadly, it would.

One more story. Remember the story of Esther and how she became queen? Was it a Godly way of becoming queen? No. The king had a beauty contest, and every pretty virgin in the land had to enter this competition. And all of those that became approved of went to beauty school for a couple of years, and then one by one the king slept with them. The one he liked best became queen. Would that be God’s will for anybody? No. But can God use that which is ungodly in order to do His will? Yes. And that is the victory. Whatever the enemy purposes against us, if we will exercise faith, God can use it for the good of the Kingdom. So Esther is queen. Haman hates the Jews and has devised this plot to kill them all. Mordecai, Esther’s uncle, sends a message to Esther. “You must go and tell the king.” And she sent a message back, “I can’t do that. The king hasn’t asked to be with me in months.” Mordecai says this interesting thing, “don’t think that because you are queen that you will escape the fate of all the Jews. But who knows if you should have been brought to the kingdom for such a time as this.” In other words, you have a choice because of the position you’ve been given, to be the vessel of salvation for this people. If you choose not to, this generation will die, but God will find another way to save His people.

In other words, our choices are significant. They have a real consequence in the Kingdom of God. Ultimately, they don’t do anything to God’s plan – but they can cause immense pain and delay for us. Tomorrow, we’re going to look at parables in the Kingdom to see what Jesus has to say about this. But what I want to do in the last few moments now, is just show you the ways in which we are in a battle. At every point, the enemy was seeking to prevent God’s plan from coming true. At each point, there is a choice, and those choices have influence on them. Influences to do God’s will, or influences to do Satan’s will. And our choices either lead one way or the other. At each point the people were free to choose, but the choices had influences on them. So the enemy wanted Joseph’s brothers to kill him. Because if they kill Joseph, God’s plan is useless. But God influences Ruben. Now Ruben doesn’t do exactly what God wants. He doesn’t save Joseph, but he does stop Joseph from being killed. So the enemy tries something different. He brings along Potiphar’s wife. But Joseph stands firm. At each point, it’s a battle between the influence that the enemy imposes, and the ones that God influences.

I’m going to stop and pray that God will show us what battles we face.

In Joshua’s time, it’s fear that prevents us from making Godly choices. Our choices will be directed either by fear, or by faith. So let’s pray.