Classroom: children 03-29-07
03-29-07
The enemy wants to keep us in the two year old age. Angry, rebellious, stubborn.
The main issue here is identity. This is what God wants us to incorporate at this age. Who am I as a girl or a woman? Who am I as a boy or a man? Who am I and why am I here? The storm of the two year old is finished. Gender is being established. I need to learn how to socialize. How do I live with people? How do I treat others? What is appropriate to say? What is not appropriate to say? You need to teach me how to interact with others and have healthy relationships. If you don’t want me to say things in public, don’t say these things at home. If you don’t want me to do something, you don’t do it also. The child here is such a mirror for the home, at this age. Whatever he hears and sees in the home he will reflect it out of the home. They’re very verbal.
There was a little girl, a 3 year old in my school who said to the teacher, “you’re very rude and we need to pray for you.” This teacher was very mean to this child, and the parents were in a meeting and saying, “this teacher is really mean and we need to pray for you.” So the next day the little girl said, “you know what? My parents said you’re very mean and they need to pray for you.” So the teacher was very hurt and the parents needed to go and apologize to her.
Fathers and mothers give very strong messages to their children about identity. And mothers send very strong messages to their sons about how they should be like and what they should do. If a father is dependant, The mother is giving strong messages to her son about how and who to be. The son looks to the father to see how that is being portrayed; as if the mother is saying, “look at your father and learn from him.” So if your father has addictions and is an independent person, if the mother is controlling… the son will think, “this is how I should be.” And the way the mother treats the father is the way he expects to be treated in the future. The daughter looks to the father to get the message of what she should do. If the father is kind and loving and considerate with his wife, the daughter learns that, “this is the way I should be treated, also.” And the man she marries will probably be a man that treats her how the father treats the mother. But if she gets a negative example like her father, a man who is abusive, she would probably think, “I will never marry a man like my father.” But when she gets older she will probably find a man who abuses her. Why? Because she doesn’t know that she deserves something better.
If there are problems in the home and the home is dysfunctional, these problems will show; if you work with kids it’s important for you to notice these things, and as you observe them you try to minister to these things. When we have our camps and we minister to kids, sometimes the kids look up to us to find good role models. I have a girl in my class who’s mother is very uncaring, she’s busy with other things. This girl tells me again and again, “I want to be just like you when I grow up.” It breaks my heart to see when parents don’t do a good job, here. So identity is being established. When abuse is happening to a child at this age, especially sexual abuse – something very sad at this age, and sexual abuse with most people usually starts at this age. Why is that, do you think? Why is this, do you think? Because the child is so nice, wanting to just please everyone – to help and do nice things. They are open to learn and do things.
Many times when a child is abused, they have confusion in their sexual identity. If a little boy is abused by an older boy, he might become a homosexual. That’s an extreme example, but it usually disturbs their sexual identity, and we really need to pray in their lives that the Lord will restore their sexual identity.
And what’s very important at this age is to teach the kids to say “no.” We taught our kids at a very early age. We told them that there is a certain part of your body that nobody is allowed to touch. And if somebody tries to touch you there, you say “no” and run to me immediately – even if they say they will kill you. I was so shocked when I read a book about these things, that somebody could do that. So keep that in mind. Teach them to say “no”.
This child is an asking machine. What’s the main word they say over and over again? “why” – what are they doing? Why do they ask these things over and over again? They want to learn. They want to know. They want to gather as much information as they can. This is the period in their life when they are learning the fastest. They want to know “why” about everything. I was so thankful for encyclopedias when my kids were 3. Sometimes I knew the answers but sometimes they asked difficult questions. So this is a time when we need good answers and when they get difficult questions. So when the child says, “why did the sun disappear?” Don’t tell them, “it went to sleep.” Or when they ask, “where did I come from?” Don’t say, “the cabbage.” Answer their questions. Now, don’t tell them everything about sex when you tell them these things, but tell them as much so that they are satisfied. Sometimes it can get to be too much when they keep asking why. So you can say, “you know enough.” It will make them so proud that they know. If you don’t know the answer, say, “I don’t know the answer, I will try to find out.” And I do. I’ve learned so much that way.
In this age, they tend to think that their parents know everything. In the next age, they think their teachers know everything.
When your child says, “papa, papa, there’s an airplane!” And if you say, “that’s not an airplane! That’s an elephant!” What happens then? The child begins to think that something is wrong with them, that they can’t trust what they know. They don’t have a concept of fantasy. They’re establishing what is real and what is not real.
4 year olders start being afraid suddenly: afraid of the dark, afraid of dragons, afraid of ghosts. And the reason for this fear is that they so much want to be good that they scare themselves into being good. This especially happens to kids whose mothers and fathers are not consistent. All children get afraid at 4 but the degree of fear varies. It’s very important at this age to be careful about what they read and what they watch. Some kids stories or fairy tales should never have been written for kids. Some famous stories should never have been written for kids. What are some of these stories? Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Grettel. When were these stories written? These stories were written by authors who knew about the fear of children. These stories were written to scare children and teach them a lesson. I found a book at my school about a giant who likes to take kids and slit their throats. I went to the director and asked, “can I throw this book away?” The director told me just to hide it under many books.
Sometimes a child will ask the parent to come into the room because they’re afraid there is a ghost under a bed, or a thief. As a Christian, we know there are evil spirits. But what should I do when my child says there is a ghost under the bed? You get a light and you first look under the bed alone, and then you tell the child to come look with you. Then pray with the child, “Lord, just protect this child and let him know you are here.” Teach your child how strong Jesus is and that he can keep anything out of the house.
Fear is an evil spirit, has a personality. Where did this fear come from? How did it start? And ask for deliverance. I got a spirit of fear in my life because of my mother. She was a very fearful person, afraid of many things. I would be afraid of driving, afraid of swimming, afraid of talking to people, and afraid of everything. And then I came face to face with that fear – and I got to a point where I did not want that fear anymore because it was stopping me from doing many, many good things. So I took authority over that fear in Jesus’ name and cast it out of my life. I prayed for my mother because she transferred that fear to me. Then I began healing by facing every fear in my life. I learned how to drive and got a car. My biggest fear was swimming. I would swim sometimes, but I would always swim next to the wall. One day my kids were swimming and jumping into the deep places and having fun – and I was just stuck next to the wall. They would say, “mom! Mom! Come have fun with us!” But I was afraid. Finally I decided I was going to do it. I told the lifeguard, “I’m going into the deep for the first time alone – I know how to swim – but I am very afraid, so could you please just keep an eye on me?” And the lifeguard said, “no problem, I will keep an eye on you. Just go! You can do it!” And when I did that, I was fine, and I was so happy
The Lord doesn’t take from you anything that you don’t want to give Him. He’s a gentlemen. And He doesn’t give you anything that you don’t ask for, because His gifts are precious. Do you want healing? Ask Him. During the ministry time, together we will come against the spirit of fear.
If you want to learn what legalism looks like, just look at a group of 5 year olds, they’re very legalistic. They’re very self righteous. They’re preachers as well. When they hear something in school, they will come and preach it at home. “You’re not supposed to shout!”
This is a very good time to tell them about God, stories from the Bible. This is a great time – so instead of fairy tales, tell them Bible stories. Now, don’t pick stories like Abraham sacrificing Isaac on the mountain, or John the Baptist being beheaded. Choose with wisdom. Kids can adapt for any situation to do what’s right.
My father always expects my mom to guess his needs and then give him what he wants without asking – because that’s what his mom did for him. And his wife was not his mother so she could not guess. He had to ask her. So teach the kids at this age that they have to ask for what they need and other people need to ask you for what they need. How do we get our needs met as grown-ups now? We have to ask for them. And we have to ask God for our needs. This is a good time to teach feelings. Happy, sad, angry, surprised, frustrated, disappointed, -- more.
They like to play at this age. They like to role play. My children did this with the neighbor kids. They tied a rope around his neck and made him their dog. He was crawling behind them and barking. We shouldn’t panic when a boy is pretending to be a daughter or a mother… it’s okay because they’re learning who they are.
Identity acceptance.
Do you accept your role, right now? Do you accept your identity? Are you attracted to the opposite sex? If you’re not then there’s something wrong with your sex role identity.
Are you secure in your social situations? Are you secure in talking to others or do you find it hard to talk with others? Are you shy? Embarrassed and ashamed?
Do you have a strong connection with thinking, feeling, and problem solving? During 0-6 months I said that if your needs are met in the right way you learn to feel, to think, and to do. If I do a good job here, my child at 3-6 years has to be really good with that. For example, my son takes out his toys and he’s playing with them. Now he wants to go down the street and play – but now he knows that he cannot go until his toys are put away. So he solves his problem and then goes out to play. Problem solved. Crying is normal if you have something really big, and you have a problem. Imagine I’m driving and I get a flat tire and I sit there and cry in my car. Then somebody comes and says, “why are you crying?” And I say, “because I have a flat tire!” And the gentleman says, “oh it’s okay, I’ll fix it for you.” Then my problem is solved because other people fix it for me.
Social and conversational appropriateness. As an adult, do I know when to speak and when to be quiet? Or am I speaking all the time or am I quiet all the time? Do I interrupt people when I’m talking?
Unshakable identity in Christ. Jesus was able to face all of the opposition because he knew exactly who he was. Sometimes I wonder, how could he stand it when people wanted to stone him or throw him down a cliff? How did he keep his spirit so beautiful? I noticed with myself that I can take stress, now, easier, knowing that I am the bride of Jesus. Two months ago I faced opposition in the school because of difficult situations I faced with the students. Everyone in town was talking about me. I was amazed at how peaceful I was, and I could bless and pray for the people who lied and said things about me. And that’s not normal for me. That’s not my personality.
So if you have the opposite things of what I’ve said, give God a chance to minister to you. If you are flexible with your rules and values, you need to let the Lord heal you. If you have sex role confusion, if you can’t be social, over adaptive, self righteous, rejection of identity, fear, oppressed by the spirit of fear… so take some time and come into the presence of the Lord.
Some people have the ability to solve problems very effectively. He’s just very secure and he knows that any problem that comes his way has a solution.
6-12 year olds
When I say 6-12, that means that some children could start at 5 or some could start at 7 or another age. It depends on the child.
This is the time when the emotions go down. The feelings take a second place in the child’s life. So what is left? Thinking and doing. Children at this age don’t have much emotions. Emotions sit in the back seat. What is left is thinking and doing. This time is called latency. So they are very active. They don’t like to just sit and talk to people. They want to play football and jump rope and climb trees. If they don’t have a football they will just have to create a football. I was amazed that we were in Jordan in a play area and children were making their own football from plastic bags. There were lots of plastic bags in the streets and in the fields and they would wrap one around another until they had a football. They seem like they don’t need relationships anymore. For example, when my boys have a day off they go and play, they come back for lunch, and then they go again and don’t come back until night. Parents aren’t quite as important in their lives anymore. They are important, but not like they were. They just want to play with their friends. They want to do things. Boys want to play with boys and boys games. Girls want to play with girls and girls games. Football (soccer) is number one where I am from, I don’t know about you. After that, basketball. If I ask my son, “what are the best things in your life?” If I asked at the age of 3-6 he would say, “God, my parents…” and things like that. At this age, I asked him again and he said, “football, basketball, God, my parents, school.” If I didn’t know this teaching then I would think he didn’t love the Lord anymore. But this is normal.
We had an intercession camp with kids of this age and it was full of things to do! Three days of intercession with kids this age! They look like they don’t need relationships anymore but they do. I told you the other day – the only time my son wants to spend time with me is at 8:30pm. He wants to talk about his day and how many goals he scored and how exactly they happened. I really try to concentrate and look interested. So they’re not becoming insensitive – it’s just the normal time in their lives, and God allows it so they can learn skills. Think of the things that you used to do at this age. Do you think you would still do the same things now? Crazy things? Climbing high trees?
In America we have “ding-dong ditch”
In England they have “knock-a-door run”
Kids should not be treated differently at this age. 12 year old, 11 year old. One kid is making a lot of noise and I write his name on the board and another kid is making just as much noise and I don’t write his name on the board. We need to treat them fairly. This is very important. Don’t wound their spirits. And don’t sit there for 30 minutes and preach at them.
Luke 2:39-51
What did Jesus do? He did what seemed natural and right to him. Did he sin? No. Jesus never sinned. Jesus had a good idea at the time. He had a sense of destiny. He knew who he was and where he was going. He had the idea to stay in the temple, in his Father’s house. His only mistake was that he did not tell his parents where he was. We see how Mary and Joseph were afraid that they might lose their son. Maybe they blamed each other.
Another thing in this age that we need to teach is how to start and finish something; because the temptation is to start something and not finish it. If we don’t learn this here, we will grow up with the difficulty to start something and not finish it. So it’s very important that if the child wants to play but they have homework to do, “no, you must do homework before you play.” Or you can’t watch tv until you finish folding the laundry.
They like to try new things, and they try it until they decide whether they like it or not – so it’s important to let them try it until they decide whether they like it or not. So parents, this is important – don’t run out and buy an expensive guitar. The child might not like it. Say, “Okay, maybe you can have 4 lessons.” Then they can decide. If the child takes one lesson and wants to stop, would I let him? NO! Because I’m teaching him to start something and finish it. Lets say he doesn’t want to play guitar, now he wants to play piano. Same thing. If you don’t have a piano, maybe he can practice at a neighbors house. If they decide something and then want to go back to guitar – would we let them do this? Yes.
These kids need a lot of love. Time with parents is important – and if you love them you give them time. If they don’t want to sit and talk then we can go down and play together – that can be the time. Kids love it when their parents play with them.
Men are very important for kids this age, for boys and girls – to teach them how to do stuff, so the main figure is very important. If there is no father in the home, then another male should take the father’s place in the child’s life; an uncle or a grandfather or a neighbor. This is also a good time to continue teaching right from wrong. They love to learn the ten commandments here and what each one means and how they can apply it in their lives. They also need to know what they believe and why. I cannot just tell them, “you can’t watch this program because I said so.” Or “You can’t buy this toy because I said so.” I need to sit and explain to them “why”.
I had to do this with my kids about Pokemon. They didn’t understand. I told them it has to do with magic and demonic things. After I explained, every time they received a gift from somebody with Pokemon on it they would throw it in the garbage. They didn’t even want to give it to somebody else.
There is a good book by James Dobson.
“Preparing for Adolescence”
Some parents are hesitant to talk to their children about these things and it’s very unhealthy. It’s very important for parents to talk to their children.
Healthy parenting. What is healthy parenting? Having good conversations with the kids. Supporting their dreams. This is the time when God plants in their heart a sense of their destiny. Many times you decide what you’re going to become when you grow up at this age. Like Jesus at this age – he had this desire to be in the temple. I wanted to become a nurse when I was this age, to heal people, and now God is using me for inner healing. So if you work with kids this age, talk to them about what they could become in the future – destiny and things like that. Play with them. Task priority. Teaching them to start and finish things. I really believe you will become good parents.
I will read how to know if you had a healthy time in this stage. If you see yourself lacking in some areas, just ask the Lord to give you what you’re missing.
Prioritize things and complete tasks. You know you should finish your lessons before you go to play. Task priority.
Creative in problem solving.
Healthy development of social skills.
Strong sense of values and rules applied with grace. This means that you are able to follow the rules and values. You don’t rebel against them and get angry.
Confident in own methods of doing things. If I want my child to hang the laundry – he doesn’t have to do it exactly the way that I do it.
Knowing and fulfilling God’s plan for you in life
The opposite now, if you have an unhealthy development:
Inflexible with rules and values. Sometimes we can be flexible with rules and there are times when we need flexibility. For example if a mother has a rule that there is no eating between meals but the child is sit.
Problems with task priority and task completion
Addictive personality traits
Passive/aggressive behavior
Compelled to war against injustice
Use feelings on others to control (pretend to be angry so you can control somebody)
Use feelings on self to punish – guilt. When something goes wrong you take the blame.
Unaware of God or His plan. You don’t know why you’re here. Insecure in gifts and callings.
The enemy wants to keep us in the two year old age. Angry, rebellious, stubborn.
The main issue here is identity. This is what God wants us to incorporate at this age. Who am I as a girl or a woman? Who am I as a boy or a man? Who am I and why am I here? The storm of the two year old is finished. Gender is being established. I need to learn how to socialize. How do I live with people? How do I treat others? What is appropriate to say? What is not appropriate to say? You need to teach me how to interact with others and have healthy relationships. If you don’t want me to say things in public, don’t say these things at home. If you don’t want me to do something, you don’t do it also. The child here is such a mirror for the home, at this age. Whatever he hears and sees in the home he will reflect it out of the home. They’re very verbal.
There was a little girl, a 3 year old in my school who said to the teacher, “you’re very rude and we need to pray for you.” This teacher was very mean to this child, and the parents were in a meeting and saying, “this teacher is really mean and we need to pray for you.” So the next day the little girl said, “you know what? My parents said you’re very mean and they need to pray for you.” So the teacher was very hurt and the parents needed to go and apologize to her.
Fathers and mothers give very strong messages to their children about identity. And mothers send very strong messages to their sons about how they should be like and what they should do. If a father is dependant, The mother is giving strong messages to her son about how and who to be. The son looks to the father to see how that is being portrayed; as if the mother is saying, “look at your father and learn from him.” So if your father has addictions and is an independent person, if the mother is controlling… the son will think, “this is how I should be.” And the way the mother treats the father is the way he expects to be treated in the future. The daughter looks to the father to get the message of what she should do. If the father is kind and loving and considerate with his wife, the daughter learns that, “this is the way I should be treated, also.” And the man she marries will probably be a man that treats her how the father treats the mother. But if she gets a negative example like her father, a man who is abusive, she would probably think, “I will never marry a man like my father.” But when she gets older she will probably find a man who abuses her. Why? Because she doesn’t know that she deserves something better.
If there are problems in the home and the home is dysfunctional, these problems will show; if you work with kids it’s important for you to notice these things, and as you observe them you try to minister to these things. When we have our camps and we minister to kids, sometimes the kids look up to us to find good role models. I have a girl in my class who’s mother is very uncaring, she’s busy with other things. This girl tells me again and again, “I want to be just like you when I grow up.” It breaks my heart to see when parents don’t do a good job, here. So identity is being established. When abuse is happening to a child at this age, especially sexual abuse – something very sad at this age, and sexual abuse with most people usually starts at this age. Why is that, do you think? Why is this, do you think? Because the child is so nice, wanting to just please everyone – to help and do nice things. They are open to learn and do things.
Many times when a child is abused, they have confusion in their sexual identity. If a little boy is abused by an older boy, he might become a homosexual. That’s an extreme example, but it usually disturbs their sexual identity, and we really need to pray in their lives that the Lord will restore their sexual identity.
And what’s very important at this age is to teach the kids to say “no.” We taught our kids at a very early age. We told them that there is a certain part of your body that nobody is allowed to touch. And if somebody tries to touch you there, you say “no” and run to me immediately – even if they say they will kill you. I was so shocked when I read a book about these things, that somebody could do that. So keep that in mind. Teach them to say “no”.
This child is an asking machine. What’s the main word they say over and over again? “why” – what are they doing? Why do they ask these things over and over again? They want to learn. They want to know. They want to gather as much information as they can. This is the period in their life when they are learning the fastest. They want to know “why” about everything. I was so thankful for encyclopedias when my kids were 3. Sometimes I knew the answers but sometimes they asked difficult questions. So this is a time when we need good answers and when they get difficult questions. So when the child says, “why did the sun disappear?” Don’t tell them, “it went to sleep.” Or when they ask, “where did I come from?” Don’t say, “the cabbage.” Answer their questions. Now, don’t tell them everything about sex when you tell them these things, but tell them as much so that they are satisfied. Sometimes it can get to be too much when they keep asking why. So you can say, “you know enough.” It will make them so proud that they know. If you don’t know the answer, say, “I don’t know the answer, I will try to find out.” And I do. I’ve learned so much that way.
In this age, they tend to think that their parents know everything. In the next age, they think their teachers know everything.
When your child says, “papa, papa, there’s an airplane!” And if you say, “that’s not an airplane! That’s an elephant!” What happens then? The child begins to think that something is wrong with them, that they can’t trust what they know. They don’t have a concept of fantasy. They’re establishing what is real and what is not real.
4 year olders start being afraid suddenly: afraid of the dark, afraid of dragons, afraid of ghosts. And the reason for this fear is that they so much want to be good that they scare themselves into being good. This especially happens to kids whose mothers and fathers are not consistent. All children get afraid at 4 but the degree of fear varies. It’s very important at this age to be careful about what they read and what they watch. Some kids stories or fairy tales should never have been written for kids. Some famous stories should never have been written for kids. What are some of these stories? Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Grettel. When were these stories written? These stories were written by authors who knew about the fear of children. These stories were written to scare children and teach them a lesson. I found a book at my school about a giant who likes to take kids and slit their throats. I went to the director and asked, “can I throw this book away?” The director told me just to hide it under many books.
Sometimes a child will ask the parent to come into the room because they’re afraid there is a ghost under a bed, or a thief. As a Christian, we know there are evil spirits. But what should I do when my child says there is a ghost under the bed? You get a light and you first look under the bed alone, and then you tell the child to come look with you. Then pray with the child, “Lord, just protect this child and let him know you are here.” Teach your child how strong Jesus is and that he can keep anything out of the house.
Fear is an evil spirit, has a personality. Where did this fear come from? How did it start? And ask for deliverance. I got a spirit of fear in my life because of my mother. She was a very fearful person, afraid of many things. I would be afraid of driving, afraid of swimming, afraid of talking to people, and afraid of everything. And then I came face to face with that fear – and I got to a point where I did not want that fear anymore because it was stopping me from doing many, many good things. So I took authority over that fear in Jesus’ name and cast it out of my life. I prayed for my mother because she transferred that fear to me. Then I began healing by facing every fear in my life. I learned how to drive and got a car. My biggest fear was swimming. I would swim sometimes, but I would always swim next to the wall. One day my kids were swimming and jumping into the deep places and having fun – and I was just stuck next to the wall. They would say, “mom! Mom! Come have fun with us!” But I was afraid. Finally I decided I was going to do it. I told the lifeguard, “I’m going into the deep for the first time alone – I know how to swim – but I am very afraid, so could you please just keep an eye on me?” And the lifeguard said, “no problem, I will keep an eye on you. Just go! You can do it!” And when I did that, I was fine, and I was so happy
The Lord doesn’t take from you anything that you don’t want to give Him. He’s a gentlemen. And He doesn’t give you anything that you don’t ask for, because His gifts are precious. Do you want healing? Ask Him. During the ministry time, together we will come against the spirit of fear.
If you want to learn what legalism looks like, just look at a group of 5 year olds, they’re very legalistic. They’re very self righteous. They’re preachers as well. When they hear something in school, they will come and preach it at home. “You’re not supposed to shout!”
This is a very good time to tell them about God, stories from the Bible. This is a great time – so instead of fairy tales, tell them Bible stories. Now, don’t pick stories like Abraham sacrificing Isaac on the mountain, or John the Baptist being beheaded. Choose with wisdom. Kids can adapt for any situation to do what’s right.
My father always expects my mom to guess his needs and then give him what he wants without asking – because that’s what his mom did for him. And his wife was not his mother so she could not guess. He had to ask her. So teach the kids at this age that they have to ask for what they need and other people need to ask you for what they need. How do we get our needs met as grown-ups now? We have to ask for them. And we have to ask God for our needs. This is a good time to teach feelings. Happy, sad, angry, surprised, frustrated, disappointed, -- more.
They like to play at this age. They like to role play. My children did this with the neighbor kids. They tied a rope around his neck and made him their dog. He was crawling behind them and barking. We shouldn’t panic when a boy is pretending to be a daughter or a mother… it’s okay because they’re learning who they are.
Identity acceptance.
Do you accept your role, right now? Do you accept your identity? Are you attracted to the opposite sex? If you’re not then there’s something wrong with your sex role identity.
Are you secure in your social situations? Are you secure in talking to others or do you find it hard to talk with others? Are you shy? Embarrassed and ashamed?
Do you have a strong connection with thinking, feeling, and problem solving? During 0-6 months I said that if your needs are met in the right way you learn to feel, to think, and to do. If I do a good job here, my child at 3-6 years has to be really good with that. For example, my son takes out his toys and he’s playing with them. Now he wants to go down the street and play – but now he knows that he cannot go until his toys are put away. So he solves his problem and then goes out to play. Problem solved. Crying is normal if you have something really big, and you have a problem. Imagine I’m driving and I get a flat tire and I sit there and cry in my car. Then somebody comes and says, “why are you crying?” And I say, “because I have a flat tire!” And the gentleman says, “oh it’s okay, I’ll fix it for you.” Then my problem is solved because other people fix it for me.
Social and conversational appropriateness. As an adult, do I know when to speak and when to be quiet? Or am I speaking all the time or am I quiet all the time? Do I interrupt people when I’m talking?
Unshakable identity in Christ. Jesus was able to face all of the opposition because he knew exactly who he was. Sometimes I wonder, how could he stand it when people wanted to stone him or throw him down a cliff? How did he keep his spirit so beautiful? I noticed with myself that I can take stress, now, easier, knowing that I am the bride of Jesus. Two months ago I faced opposition in the school because of difficult situations I faced with the students. Everyone in town was talking about me. I was amazed at how peaceful I was, and I could bless and pray for the people who lied and said things about me. And that’s not normal for me. That’s not my personality.
So if you have the opposite things of what I’ve said, give God a chance to minister to you. If you are flexible with your rules and values, you need to let the Lord heal you. If you have sex role confusion, if you can’t be social, over adaptive, self righteous, rejection of identity, fear, oppressed by the spirit of fear… so take some time and come into the presence of the Lord.
Some people have the ability to solve problems very effectively. He’s just very secure and he knows that any problem that comes his way has a solution.
6-12 year olds
When I say 6-12, that means that some children could start at 5 or some could start at 7 or another age. It depends on the child.
This is the time when the emotions go down. The feelings take a second place in the child’s life. So what is left? Thinking and doing. Children at this age don’t have much emotions. Emotions sit in the back seat. What is left is thinking and doing. This time is called latency. So they are very active. They don’t like to just sit and talk to people. They want to play football and jump rope and climb trees. If they don’t have a football they will just have to create a football. I was amazed that we were in Jordan in a play area and children were making their own football from plastic bags. There were lots of plastic bags in the streets and in the fields and they would wrap one around another until they had a football. They seem like they don’t need relationships anymore. For example, when my boys have a day off they go and play, they come back for lunch, and then they go again and don’t come back until night. Parents aren’t quite as important in their lives anymore. They are important, but not like they were. They just want to play with their friends. They want to do things. Boys want to play with boys and boys games. Girls want to play with girls and girls games. Football (soccer) is number one where I am from, I don’t know about you. After that, basketball. If I ask my son, “what are the best things in your life?” If I asked at the age of 3-6 he would say, “God, my parents…” and things like that. At this age, I asked him again and he said, “football, basketball, God, my parents, school.” If I didn’t know this teaching then I would think he didn’t love the Lord anymore. But this is normal.
We had an intercession camp with kids of this age and it was full of things to do! Three days of intercession with kids this age! They look like they don’t need relationships anymore but they do. I told you the other day – the only time my son wants to spend time with me is at 8:30pm. He wants to talk about his day and how many goals he scored and how exactly they happened. I really try to concentrate and look interested. So they’re not becoming insensitive – it’s just the normal time in their lives, and God allows it so they can learn skills. Think of the things that you used to do at this age. Do you think you would still do the same things now? Crazy things? Climbing high trees?
In America we have “ding-dong ditch”
In England they have “knock-a-door run”
Kids should not be treated differently at this age. 12 year old, 11 year old. One kid is making a lot of noise and I write his name on the board and another kid is making just as much noise and I don’t write his name on the board. We need to treat them fairly. This is very important. Don’t wound their spirits. And don’t sit there for 30 minutes and preach at them.
Luke 2:39-51
What did Jesus do? He did what seemed natural and right to him. Did he sin? No. Jesus never sinned. Jesus had a good idea at the time. He had a sense of destiny. He knew who he was and where he was going. He had the idea to stay in the temple, in his Father’s house. His only mistake was that he did not tell his parents where he was. We see how Mary and Joseph were afraid that they might lose their son. Maybe they blamed each other.
Another thing in this age that we need to teach is how to start and finish something; because the temptation is to start something and not finish it. If we don’t learn this here, we will grow up with the difficulty to start something and not finish it. So it’s very important that if the child wants to play but they have homework to do, “no, you must do homework before you play.” Or you can’t watch tv until you finish folding the laundry.
They like to try new things, and they try it until they decide whether they like it or not – so it’s important to let them try it until they decide whether they like it or not. So parents, this is important – don’t run out and buy an expensive guitar. The child might not like it. Say, “Okay, maybe you can have 4 lessons.” Then they can decide. If the child takes one lesson and wants to stop, would I let him? NO! Because I’m teaching him to start something and finish it. Lets say he doesn’t want to play guitar, now he wants to play piano. Same thing. If you don’t have a piano, maybe he can practice at a neighbors house. If they decide something and then want to go back to guitar – would we let them do this? Yes.
These kids need a lot of love. Time with parents is important – and if you love them you give them time. If they don’t want to sit and talk then we can go down and play together – that can be the time. Kids love it when their parents play with them.
Men are very important for kids this age, for boys and girls – to teach them how to do stuff, so the main figure is very important. If there is no father in the home, then another male should take the father’s place in the child’s life; an uncle or a grandfather or a neighbor. This is also a good time to continue teaching right from wrong. They love to learn the ten commandments here and what each one means and how they can apply it in their lives. They also need to know what they believe and why. I cannot just tell them, “you can’t watch this program because I said so.” Or “You can’t buy this toy because I said so.” I need to sit and explain to them “why”.
I had to do this with my kids about Pokemon. They didn’t understand. I told them it has to do with magic and demonic things. After I explained, every time they received a gift from somebody with Pokemon on it they would throw it in the garbage. They didn’t even want to give it to somebody else.
There is a good book by James Dobson.
“Preparing for Adolescence”
Some parents are hesitant to talk to their children about these things and it’s very unhealthy. It’s very important for parents to talk to their children.
Healthy parenting. What is healthy parenting? Having good conversations with the kids. Supporting their dreams. This is the time when God plants in their heart a sense of their destiny. Many times you decide what you’re going to become when you grow up at this age. Like Jesus at this age – he had this desire to be in the temple. I wanted to become a nurse when I was this age, to heal people, and now God is using me for inner healing. So if you work with kids this age, talk to them about what they could become in the future – destiny and things like that. Play with them. Task priority. Teaching them to start and finish things. I really believe you will become good parents.
I will read how to know if you had a healthy time in this stage. If you see yourself lacking in some areas, just ask the Lord to give you what you’re missing.
Prioritize things and complete tasks. You know you should finish your lessons before you go to play. Task priority.
Creative in problem solving.
Healthy development of social skills.
Strong sense of values and rules applied with grace. This means that you are able to follow the rules and values. You don’t rebel against them and get angry.
Confident in own methods of doing things. If I want my child to hang the laundry – he doesn’t have to do it exactly the way that I do it.
Knowing and fulfilling God’s plan for you in life
The opposite now, if you have an unhealthy development:
Inflexible with rules and values. Sometimes we can be flexible with rules and there are times when we need flexibility. For example if a mother has a rule that there is no eating between meals but the child is sit.
Problems with task priority and task completion
Addictive personality traits
Passive/aggressive behavior
Compelled to war against injustice
Use feelings on others to control (pretend to be angry so you can control somebody)
Use feelings on self to punish – guilt. When something goes wrong you take the blame.
Unaware of God or His plan. You don’t know why you’re here. Insecure in gifts and callings.
posted by CarbonChris at 9:06 AM
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